Family desk

Scott

Director of Strategic Grill Operations

Scott believes every problem can be solved with the correct marinade and a patient fire. He maintains a whiteboard ranking regional wood chips by "vibe."

Posted blurbs

· Scott

Rain date: never

Scott grilled during a thunderstorm "to test commitment." The burgers were declared legally smoky.

· Scott

Thermometer unionized

After repeated calibrations, Scott's meat thermometer allegedly requested benefits. He offered olive oil instead.

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Operation Smoke Signal

Neighbors filed a complaint about "unusual deliciousness." Scott responded by inviting them to a tasting panel, then classified the smoke as "community aromatherapy." The HOA tabled the issue after receiving leftovers.